Mixed Signals

It suddenly occurred to me this afternoon that Alyssa had a doctor appointment this afternoon. Can’t believe I forgot. Oh I know, so maybe it’s not particularly shocking to learn that I forgot something. I’m not exactly known for being extremely organized and on top of things but I’m usually pretty good about appointments. (Really, there’s no need to rub it in my face that I talked about missing a hair appointment on this very blog. Do you think I don’t know this? I don’t have to come here, you know… and yes, it's kind of surprising that I remember to, isn't it?)

Okay, so anyway brief detour into panic mode while I tried to figure out how I was going to get us to the doctor’s office on time. I looked around and realized we were actually in pretty good shape all things considered. Usually by this point of the day somebody has either bathed themselves in some random sticky substance or rolled in the dirt, often both. So the fact that all of us were dressed and clean was slightly miraculous by my standards. I even managed to locate my purse, my keys, Alyssa’s immunization card and matching shoes for all of us. Who says I’m not organized? Oh right, me.

So by this point in the story I was actually feeling slightly competent and even rather calm. I went to the bathroom to brush my hair and as I did, I looked around and wondered…where’s my lipstick? I swear it was right here… where did I put that lipstick?

Of course that’s when I heard Amanda screech, “Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, come see what Alyssa did!!!” It was right about here that the whole competent/relaxed feeling completely drained from my body as I ran to see.

Yep. Guess who found my lipstick?

See those two little lipstick-covered hands? By this point they’d already been all over Amanda who had bravely wrestled the lipstick from her little sister with little consideration for her own safety or cleanliness... And as I tried to clean her up those same little hands got all over me.

(You’d think I’d know better considering we had a similar scene last Saturday right before my mother-in-law arrived except on that day instead of lipstick Alyssa opted to cover herself in the dark brown paint her dad was using to paint the trim on the shed. And on that day I opted to forego the photo shoot. Sorry.)

So after I got us all cleaned up and into clean clothes, we managed to make it to the doctor’s with a few minutes to spare. I decided it could have been a whole lot worse. When Amanda pulled the lipstick routine a few years back, she used one of those long-lasting lipsticks and it took days for it to wear off of her eyelids.

Perhaps you're wondering what I have learned from this little drama? Not a thing.

What has Alyssa learned from this little drama? That Mommy sure does send some mixed signals. I can only imagine that if Alyssa had an instruction manual, the following rules would be in there somewhere:

• Find a way to get my hands on something I've been told not to touch.
• Apply liberally to self/clothing/walls/carpet/furniture.
• Feel overwhelming sense of glee & satisfaction.
• Wait for Mommy to discover how brilliant and cute I am.
• When Mommy arrives there may be strong signs of displeasure and distress, and a lot of "No, no, no's" being tossed around. Wait patiently.
• Smile sweetly when Mommy whips out the camera to record how brilliant and cute I am.
• Repeat often.