Kindergarten Assessment

Amanda’s going to Kindergarten! Well at the end of August, that is. I know, it’s hard for me to believe too. Feels like we just brought her home from the hospital a few weeks ago instead of almost FIVE YEARS AGO. Somebody hand me a Kleenex, please.

Amanda went to Kindergarten Assessment a couple of weeks ago and I was a WRECK. That’s right, Amanda: totally fine. Me: complete WRECK. I remember my own Kindergarten Assessment and how stressed out I was about it because I did NOT want to go to school.

My brother went to school and didn’t like it so I wanted no part of it. I was perfectly happy staying at home playing Little People, watching Mighty Mouse and All My Children and having the toys, crayons and my mom all to myself for hours at a time. I think I wanted to fail my Kindergarten Assessment but when Mrs. Reynolds promised a treat afterwards I performed like a well-trained monkey. I got a fabulous piece of chocolate and a ticket to Kindergarten. D’oh!

For months I’ve been talking about how exciting and fun Kindergarten will be. There will be paste to eat, big vats of paint to spill on the carpet, boys to kiss, brown rolls of paper towels so hard you’ll get splinters when you dry your hands, games of I’ll show you my belly button if you show me yours with Tim Smith during naptime… Or maybe that was just my Kindergarten experience. But my point is that Amanda had no fears about the assessment or going to Kindergarten, which is how it should be.

I was nervous enough for both of us anyway. Because, let's be honest, I figured that if she didn’t do well it would be my fault. Oh and Scott’s of course, because he’s the one who vetoed pre-school. But I’m the one who didn’t demand it. I'm her mom and I should have fought harder for it.

Apparently that commercial about how going to preschool means you’ll do better for the rest of your life has not had quite the same impact on Scott that it has had on me. Some days it plays in an endless loop in my head followed by this nightmarish vision of Amanda out behind her third grade classroom smoking cigarettes and tossing beer cans onto the hopscotch field with all the other little thugs who didn’t go to preschool. These moments brought to you by: Mommy Guilt.

So back to the big assessment... we practiced for weeks: her letters, numbers, shapes, writing her name, basic math, anthropology, Latin, physics. Okay maybe not all that, but we studied and practiced. I took it as a good sign that her appointment was with a Mrs. Starr. Not only is star a happy shiny name, but it’s also the name of one of my very favorite teachers, Mr. Starr, my 6th grade teacher who is probably at least partially responsible for the fact that this blog even exists but I’ll write about him another time. My point is that I panicked a tiny bit when they told me, first thing, that Mrs. Starr was unavailable and that we would be meeting with the other teacher whose name I had a bit of trouble pronouncing. What? Uh oh.

But the teacher was wonderful and her classroom was happy and fun and Amanda marched right in there and… well I don’t want to say that she was trying to make me look bad. But she was. Yeah she was definitely trying to make me look bad. For instance the teacher asked her if she could count and Amanda said, "Of course," and then she proceeded to count to ten. The teacher then asked if she knew what came after ten and Amanda said, “Eight?”

You know how one minute you think you know exactly who you are and then something happens to show you that you’re somebody you don’t really recognize? Well that’s what Kindergarten Assessment did to me. One minute I was this totally laid back, low pressure, non-competitive you’ll get there when you get there kind of mom and the next minute I was - well, a crazy woman.

There I was sitting in a tiny little chair in the corner pretending to read a tiny little book while inside I was screaming, “Eight? Eight? EIGHT?!?” It was all I could do to just sit there and force myself not to turn into some obnoxious stage mother off to the side motioning like a lunatic to Amanda or loudly coughing “ELEVEN” into my hand… And then Amanda pulled the same routine with recognizing the letters of the alphabet and reversed the N & D in her name. While I’m thinking, “She KNOWS this stuff…I halfway expected Amanda to just whisper to the teacher, “Look, Mrs. P, my mommy didn’t send me to pre-school and my daddy doesn’t let me play with play-doh. I think we both know the direction my life is heading. Do you think I could take a quick smoke break to clear my head?”

Despite everything I’ve said to the contrary, the truth is Amanda did a great job at her assessment and the teacher said she had absolutely no doubt that she is ready for kindergarten. Highly questionable whether I am ready for kindergarten, but Amanda should do just fine.

As soon as we got outside I told Amanda what a great job she’d done, but couldn't resist asking her, “How do you spell your name?” “A-M-A-N-D-A“ Right, and what comes after ten?” “Eleven.” “And after eleven?” “Twelve.” “And after twelve?” “Thirteen.” “And…” “Mommy, can we go out for doughnuts?” “Okay.”

Moments

Last night I'd gotten the girls all ready for bed: baths taken, teeth brushed, jammies on. There was only a story waiting to be read when Scott insisted that I come watch the last few minutes of a show we'd started earlier.

The girls were happily playing with dolls in their room so I sat down to watch TV. About two minutes later they appeared in the living room and Amanda announced she was ready for her story. I said, "Just a second, Sweetie," and she said, "Oh Mom, no more just a seconds!" Then she went to her room, and returned with a pillow and blanket, laid down on the floor and covered herself up.

Alyssa walked over to her and Amanda pulled the blanket aside and moved over to make room for her sister. Alyssa laid down and snuggled up to Amanda who pulled the blanket up around them. They just laid there together so sweetly... Amanda taking such good care of her little sister and Alyssa clearly adoring her big sister. And I just sat there smiling at them.

Suddenly it occurred to me that this is what it's all about... these moments right here. This is what's so wonderful about having children... these moments that make your heart swell up so big that you think it might it explode.

Then right in the middle of my moment Alyssa looked around and then jammed her finger up her nose. Amanda looked over at her with what appeared to be total disgust but instead of saying "Yuck!" she jammed her finger up Alyssa's other nostril. Pretty much above and beyond the big sister call of duty if you ask me. But then I've never been a big sister, so what do I know? And umm, yes, these are the kind of moments that my wonderful children might not appreciate having posted on the world wide web. Luckily they can't read yet.

(photo taken in March 2007)

Great minds think alike

A few weeks ago my mom called and asked me if I wanted one of the birdhouses that my dad built. She said it’s supposed to be an outhouse. Without really thinking I said yes, and then a minute later it hit me, “Wait, it’s an outhouse for birds!?! That’s perfect!”

In case you think I’m crazy like my mom probably did, a while back in the play-doh post I quoted Amanda saying, “I'm building a toilet for the birds because I'm so sick of them pooping on my slide!” so it just made me all kinds of happy to think about this birdhouse.

As a kid, my dad spent a lot of time on his uncle’s farm and he had a thing for outhouses. He had a little collection of them (my favorite was the two-story outhouse - you never want to be on the bottom floor of a two-story outhouse) and when my parents retired to Hidden Valley Lake he started collecting and building birdhouses. He had a row of them up on posts circling their backyard that overlooks the lake. So the fact that he built a bird-size outhouse makes sense. And the fact that it has found a new home in our backyard makes even more sense. I don’t think this outhouse was meant for me at all, I like to think it was a gift for Amanda from her grandpa.

Grandma gave it a fresh coat of paint and we are searching for the perfect spot for it in our yard. Now if only somebody would have a word with those birds. Please tell them to stop pooping on Amanda's slide.

Happy Father's Day!

We love him because:

• He kills the spiders



• He mows the lawn



• He puts out the garbage



• He sometimes shares the remote control



• He works hard so that I can stay home with the kids



• He unstops the toilet

• He teaches us new things



• He carries the girls on his shoulders which always makes me smile



• He's easy on the eyes



• He has the attention span of a 6-year old so he makes great company for the kids



• He lets me pick the music in the car



• He does all the driving and takes care of the vehicles



• He puts up with us when we're grouchy



• He can fix electrical stuff and not catch the house on fire

• He never complains about how much money I spend (I'm kidding, threw this one in so I could see if he was paying attention)



• He loves leftovers and will eat pretty much anything without complaining



• He puts up with us when we're messy



• He has power tools and is not afraid to use them



• He's a great cook



• He takes us to fun places



• He cleans out the kitty litter box
  


• Because I know one day he'll pay for braces

• And therapy - lots and lots of therapy

• He makes us laugh

• We've been together a long time and who wants to train a newbie?

Happy Father's Day from your girls,

Dione, Amanda & Alyssa

Please don't drink the bath water

Last night I had both of the girls in the tub and I'd colored the water pink. I looked over and Alyssa was drinking a big cup of water so I said, "Alyssa! You know what happens when you drink pink water, don't you?" Amanda asked, "What?" and I responded, "You'll pee pink!"

A minute later I looked over and Amanda was standing up drinking a cup of pink water while peeing in the tub. I know... ewww. But I must say that her ability to multi-task is impressive. She was disappointed though because it turns out there must be a delay on the whole pink pee thing.

I bet mothers of boys think they're the only ones who get these special heartwarming kind of moments, but it's just not true. We get them too. Except sometimes our moments are pink.

So if you happen to be at our house, I highly recommend that you don't drink the bath water. Especially if it's pink... or umm... yellow... Well just don't drink it. Ever.

Alyssa at 19 months

A few random facts about Alyssa at 19 months. Alyssa:

• Weighs 25 lbs., 8 oz. And is 33 inches tall.
• Loves baby dolls, phones, remote controls and her sister.
• Demands equality. If Amanda has a whole graham cracker Alyssa will not be satisfied with a small piece of a graham cracker. She will throw down the inferior graham cracker in disgust and cry NOOOOOOO!
• Likes to sing her ABC’s and the bumblebee song. A few notes and words are actually distinguishable.
• Loves baths. I've had to remove the word "bath" from my vocabulary for the second time in my life. The first was when I was a kid and if we uttered the word "bath" our dog Rusty would fly thru the house and into hiding because a bath was the worst thing imaginable for Rusty. The complete opposite is true for Alyssa. If I notice Alyssa suddenly stripping her clothes off and running down the hallway toward the bathroom I start giving the evil-eye to Scott and Amanda asking “WHO said it? Who said the WORD?”
• Is not fond of getting shots.
• Is learning new words daily. Most frequently heard at our house: Where Dada? (Where’s Daddy?), Where Nana? (Where’s Amanda?), Where baby? (Where’s baby doll?), Where ga-ga? (Where’s kitty-cat?), Where Mama? (You can run, but you can't hide.), Bah!!! (Want bath), Bah!!! (Want ball), Moh! (Want more) Migh! (Mine) and Noooooooooo! (Noooooooooo!), I 'tinky, said while pinching nose (Go grab a diaper I have a special surprise for you.)
• Enjoys playing peekaboo and patty-cake.
• Is a lover AND a fighter. She likes to gives hugs and kisses but also likes to hit and pinch.
• Is a total kleptomaniac. She’s constantly stealing anything she can get her little mitts on: pens, Amanda’s toys, remote controls, DVDs, spoons… You name it, she’ll take it and find a really weird place to hide it.
• Loves to be naked. Avoids getting dressed at all costs.
• Is completely fearless. I swear she just sits back watching Amanda do the stuff she's not supposed to do and figures out ways to step up the danger level. Alyssa can scale the side of a dresser using the handles as her toe-holds. Putting something up high is not a deterrent, it’s a challenge.
• Is a huge helper! If I need someone to remove every item from the lower shelves of the pantry and toss them all over the kitchen, I look no further than Alyssa. If I want someone to take the stack of freshly folded laundry and wad it into a big pile on the floor, she’s my girl. Need that new roll of toilet paper unrolled? Want the dirty dishes removed from the dishwasher? Need someone to distribute cat food over a widespread area? Alyssa can assist!
• Is a total joy each and every day (she gets that from me) and occasionally a total pain in the butt (we all know who she gets that from).

Slideshow of Alyssa pics

http://www.jumpcut.com/view?id=63BB27820DA611DC9D58000423CF4092
If there are problems with the audio, try waiting 15-20 seconds and then restart the slideshow.