Amanda's explanation: "She asked me to do it!"
I didn't notice it while I was taking this picture, but as soon as I saw it on my computer screen, I almost felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. She just looks so grown up. When did this happen? Where did my baby go?
I mean I feel like it was just a second ago that she was this baby that we were bringing home from the hospital.
I remember having a similar reaction when I saw Amanda holding Alyssa for the first time. As if, somehow, she'd aged a few years when I wasn't paying attention.
Have to end with this one of Amanda because it makes me smile. She's getting far too old and sophisticated to have her picture taken looking like just a happy kid, so I often get either a serious look or a supermodel pose. She'll give me a a phony smile if I absolutely insist and she knows she can't get back to playing until she has appeased me.
Alyssa, after finally locating her jumprope: "Okay people, it's time to get this party started!"
I'm having computer issues so I'm posting from my iphone and sharing photos taken on my iphone. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to post more than one photo at a time so I'll be posting several times.
I'm not a phone person and even less a cell phone person so when my cell phone needed to be replaced I procrastinated. One thing I knew for sure us that I didn't need a camera on my phone because I definitely wouldn't be taking crummy-quality phone pictures when I have a perfectly nice camera.
Then Scott got me an iphone for Christmas. And I totally ate my words because, man I LOVE taking crummy-phone quality pictures with this thing.So many fun moments would have been lost were it not for my precious iphone...sigh... Oh and I can also check my email, listen to music, watch movies, all kinds of fun stuff. If only it didn't ring on occasion, meaning people expect me to actually talk to them on it, it would be perfect.
This photo was taken a month or so ago while we were waiting around for a prescription. I've been using the picture as wallpaper on my phone because it makes me smile and also reminds me that sometimes it pays to be nice. I'll add that story when I have more time.
This one's just Alyssa being cute. Please note the ugly headband which she's wearing in a lot of these photos. She's into headbands these days and this is one of her favorites though for some reason she calls it her "ugly headband".
She says she doesn't actually think it's ugly and as far as I can tell it's not ugly so it makes me giggle when she runs through the house calling, "Has anybody seen my ugly headband?"
This one was a couple of week's ago when Amanda's best friend, Rilie, spent the night. There's Alyssa on her laptop. The kid never takes a break.
"She can walk," says the guy who hasn't walked anywhere with Alyssa on a timeline and noticed her need to stop to closely examine anything even remotely interesting, to bark back at any dogs who dare to bark at her, to scale every short wall and walk it like a tight-rope. To throw herself on the ground and demand to be carried.
BUT it was the first day of spring and it was a beautiful day and a short walk to school and we were running early to pick up Amanda AND Alyssa asked ever so sweetly if she could take her baby stroller. So I said, "Sure, why not?"
And that's how I ended up lugging a baby, a baby stroller, a sippy cup and and a backpack that Amanda couldn't possibly carry because it was, "sooooooo heavy and the walk home is sooooooo long!"
And that is why I always insist on taking Alyssa's stroller whenever we walk somewhere -- just in case.
I'm so glad there's a camera on my phone.
Unfortunately it appears that our wily little leprechaun escaped. Don't ask me how. I assume that somewhere there's a big -- okay probably a little -- party goin' on and some leprechaun is tossing back a thimble full of Guinness and laughing at the thought that someone was silly enough to think a Quaker Oats box could hold him. 
The next one is typical Amanda, doing the chef thing... I am frequently banned from the kitchen while she comes up with one of her creations... I think this is banana slices topped by grapes, surrounded by a circle of wheat thins. Martha Stewart, look out.
This one is typical Alyssa, wearing an outfit she picked out herself: a glittery ballerina tutu, a superhero cape and some cowboy boots. And she flies through the air with the greatest of ease.
The last one is from just a couple of hours ago when Alyssa tucked Daddy in for a nap. She covered him with her blankie, tucked her teddy bear in next to him under a dish towel and then read them both a bed time story. Well okay, she can't actually read yet, but she did her thing.
This is the scene I found this morning. And I'm kind of curious about what's going on here. Or maybe I don't really want to know. I'm sure there's a completely innocent explanation like maybe it's just that nightmare where Barbie suddenly realizes she showed up at school naked. Or maybe it's a church service and Eve of "Adam & Eve" fame is the guest speaker but they confiscated her fig leaf at the airport. On second thought, I think it's better if I don't think about it.
Lately, public bathrooms have become wildly entertaining to Alyssa. A couple of weeks ago we went to a movie and then out to lunch, but I think the bathroom was the highlight of the day for Alyssa.
When she jumped off of the toilet and it automatically flushed, she was mad at me. "I wanted to do it!" But then it flushed again and her jaw dropped. "MAGIC!?!" she said.
A minute later it was time to wash her hands. She looked at me funny because there were no handles to turn on the faucet. So when I showed her how to wave her hands to start the water she, again, was stunned. "It's magic!" Yeah wait until I show you how to dry them, kid. Wheeeeeeee... The line of women watching us were just giggling as she chanted, "Magic, magic, MAGIC!!!"
The photo was taken last week in a different bathroom when she was having a blast playing with the hand-dryer. She's at just the perfect height so that she can not only reach the dryer, but have her face almost blown off by the blast of warm air. She thought it was great fun and repeated the process until I made her stop.
Believe it or not we have taken her to public bathrooms before. It's not like when we go to McDonalds and she jumps on the Ronald McDonald statue's lap and yells, "Mickey Mouse!" and I don't bother to mention that we're not actually in Disneyland.
We haven't taken her to Disneyland yet, but she's been in public bathrooms. I avoid them as much as humanly possible though, because they totally gross me out. Not sure if my dislike for them is in the normal range but I always think maybe I'm a bit over-the-top. I especially notice this when we're camping. For the most part, I'm pretty laid-back about dirt. Kids get dirty. That's life. But I always wonder if the girls are thinking Mommy is a little bit crazy when one minute I'm letting them play in the dirt and the next minute, upon entering a fairly clean looking camp bathroom, I go all psycho, warning, "Don't touch ANYTHING! It's dirty in here!"
Umm, we're practically coated in mud, Mom, and you don't want us to get dirty?
A visit to a public bathroom with a preschooler is the worst. If you haven't experienced it yourself, consider yourself lucky. You'll pull out the paper seat cover, and place it carefully on the seat, ensuring there is complete coverage so your precious darling's innocent little bottom will be well protected from the nasty germ-infested seat, then you'll lower the little darling onto the seat, s-l-o-w-l-y so as not to create even a slight breeze that might send the critical paper shield flying off... you'll do this while chanting don't touch ANYTHING, I will hold you.
Any public restroom-hater knows you should only use your foot to push down that little flush lever. But she will have no fear. Don't stand around wallowing in disgusted horror for too long though, because if you do she will drop down on all fours to peer into the next stall and then you'll have to douse her from head-to-toe with that anti-bacterial hand-stuff and then take her home to give her at least eight baths. Whoever invented this product knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Seeing Alyssa so excited about public bathrooms leaves me nervous. Because now that she's decided how much fun they are I'm afraid we'll be visiting them way more often than I'd like. I can say no to the toy store and no to Disneyland (okay McDonalds… she doesn't need to know!) but it's not like I can really say NO when she starts doing the potty-dance and it won't be long until she figures this out. Wish me luck. And if anybody knows where you can buy disposable haz-mat suits in toddler sizes please let me know.
Can anybody out there tell me the secret for getting out of Target without spending way too much money? I mean besides taking my husband with me. Because he can completely suck the joy out of any shopping experience what with all of his annoying do you really need that?-ness.
No, of course I don't really NEED THAT. Yes I know I already have one. In fact I already have a purple one and a green one, also one with stripes and one with polka dots but none that are even remotely as cute or as useful as THIS ONE. Yes, I NEED IT. Okay I mean maybe I don't NEED it but I WANT it. And I'm getting it. Why are you here again? Shouldn't you be in the electronics section or something?
I swear it happens every single time. I go in there with a specific plan. Today I needed a new backpack and tennis shoes for Amanda, cat food and toilet paper. And then I end up standing there at the cash register thinking CRAP! How did my cart get so full?
The dollar section always gets me. It was in the dollar section that for some idiotic reason I told Amanda she could have this rubber ball that squeaks the most insanely annoying squuuuuuuh-weeeeeeeak when you squeeze it. I think I told her she could have it just so she would put it down and stop that awful noise. I'm pretty sure I made her promise that she would only play with it while locked inside a soundproof room while I was in another country with headphones on listening to very loud music.
Then as soon as the dreadful squeaking had died down, this adorable little boy ran over and grabbed a matching ball and squeezed it… squuuuuuuuuuh-weeeeeeeeeeeak… and Amanda couldn't resist yanking her ball out of the cart to respond with another squuuuuuuuuuuuuh-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak which resulted in the two of them dissolving in giggles and started the most irritating non-verbal conversation you can possibly imagine. He would squeak, his mom's right eye would twitch, she would squeak, my left eye would twitch. And this went on until they were both dragged away in opposite directions. As we were walking away I actually said, "The only reason I haven't thrown that thing away is because we haven't paid for it yet."
So along with all the stuff I'd actually gone there in the first place for and that awful little $1 ball, I had to get a myriad of other random stuff… including Easter stuff, what with February being over YESTERDAY I had to jump on that, of course… and then there was this jacket that Alyssa needed because the poor child lives in hand-me-downs and apparently there was no cold weather when Amanda was this size.
So there I stood at the counter shaking my head, once again, thinking what have I done? I stopped going to the mall years ago because of this problem. But I can't exactly stop going to Target, can I? No. I can't. It's like air or food. Don't tell me to stop going to Target. That's crazy-talk.
(In case you missed it, the original fokking story can be found toward the bottom of this post.)
Some kid on the jungle gym told me that if I just hang here like this for an hour a day, I'll grow up to be a 
